Clickbait: Dream ADHD-ing

cannot make any sense of what my mental state is. how do i feel? - don't know how to describe this, don't know what this is. 

apathy. laziness. don't want to get out of bed. don't know what to do. 

why am i even writing all of this?

i got a dream today - i run and chase something in all dreams. this dream was a good one just becuase of this one thing - i saw a dog - a v pretty dog. it was white and had patches of light orange, black, white overlapping small and tiny circles overlapping one on other all over its upper back down to almost half of both sides, and the best of all it had small dog-bones of white (or black color, can't recall properly) all over it. i was chasing this dog just to click a photo and also to pet that cutie. it was a short glimpse and like a unicorn, the dog disappeared.

i don't dream much, as in i don't get many dreams. but when i do, my dreams have a common theme. i am always in a mission-mode. i chase something or try to reach somewhere, and simply am on the run to reach somewhere, but never really do. i get distracted in between, there are random detours i have no control over (i get it - we don't have control over dreams in general, for the most part). ADHDing in dream? - i don't know.

i was diagnosed with ADHD. but somehow i am never fully convinced that i may have it. i think it is me trying to not accept the fact that i may have ADHD, not because i look down upon it, but i don't want it to be the reason i am held back at anything. to be held back, one is required to be in some motion. i am already stuck. i already don't move. i don't know where to. i am tired and utterly demotivated to simply keep on going. so, am i held back now? 

PS. give me a rope - time in a dream - give me the hope to run out of steam - somebody said it can be here - we could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year - i can't count the reasons i should stay - one by one they all just fade away